Thursday, November 19, 2015

Breeders Gonna Breed

Director: Tim Kincaid

Cast: Teresa Farley, Lance Lewman, Frances Raines

Olive Films / Region A / Unrated / 1.85:1 widescreen (1080p) / DTS-HD stereo / 77 minutes



Sometimes when I'm sitting in my personal movie theater (aka my recliner in my living room), my wife will walk by and inquire about the movie I am watching. This time she simply asked, "What are you watching?" for which I simply replied, "Breeders". Being the quick-witted quipper she is, she made the joke, "Is it about heterosexuals?", referring to the word "breeders" that homosexuals use for straight people because they can, well, have children together. Little did she or I know how she was right on target. The director of Breeders, Tim Kincaid, is a gay man who may be better known as his gay porn making alter ego "Joe Gage" or even "Mac Larson". Could it just be a HUGE coincidence?

From the mid-'70s to the mid-'80s Kincaid made about a baker's dozen gay adult films, most notably the award-winning “Kansas City Trilogy” or “Working Man Trilogy” (Kansas City Trucking Co., El Paso Wrecking Corp. and L.A. Tool & Die). He took a break for about fifteen years until 2001 when he would restart his XXX film career with Tulsa County Line and work right up to the present with his latest American Bukkake 2 (yes, there's a sequel and you must see the first to know what's going on). Sandwiched in between his fuck movies, Kincaid made a few "legit" movies, mostly in the science fiction and exploitation genres. He made some pretty well known flicks, like Bad Girls Dormitory and Riot on 42nd St., but he is best known for Breeders.


What plot for Breeders there is to speak of follows Detective Andreotti and Dr. Pace as they investigate who is raping virgin women in New York City and burning parts of their bodies with some sort of acid. As the clues come together, they find that the assailant(s?) are coming from the tunnels under the city (C.H.U.D. anyone?). Little do they know that the rapists are slimy creatures (Humanoids From The Deep anyone?) who disguise themselves as humans and impregnate their victims to propagate their dying race. What you get to fill out the run time of the movie is tons of nudity and mostly off-screen violence. Aside from a couple of cool bladder-under-the-skin transformation scenes ala American Werewolf in London and a nice head explosion at the end, there really isn't much gore. This movie is mostly about the skin and weirdness.

Two stand-out moments focus on prolonged scenes of female nudity; one gratuitous for no good reason and one gratuitous but pertinent to the climax of the movie. The first is a fashion model who after a shoot decides to get completely nude and do some stretching and lunges (see above). This scene goes down as one of the awesomely gratuitous scenes ever. The second highlight is the final scene where the heroes have tracked the victims who have been telepathically summoned to the tunnels by the creature. The ladies are completely naked for the last 15 minutes of the movie and writhing around and moaning in a crazy, milky alien spooge bath. You can see the women looking off and almost hear the director barking orders like "MORE SQUIRMING!", "SEXY FACE, I NEED SEXY FACE!" and "DON'T WORRY ABOUT MOANING, WE'LL DO IT IN POST!".


And weirdly the movie doesn't end after the inevitable destruction of the alien beast and his wriggling baby-mamas. No, the good doctor has a nightmare about her new boyfriend being a monster rapist in disguise and then a long, spotlighted shot of her lying in bed as the camera pulls away. Weird, yes. But I fucking love this movie and all of its sleazy glory. Maybe more gay men should make horror movies and maybe we could see more tits for no reason! Makes perfect sense to me.

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