Secret Key Motion Pictures / NTSC R1 / Unrated / 1.78:1 Widescreen / Mono / English / 260 minutes / PURCHASE

Before the advent of “mainstream” hardcore porn – arguably started by Gerard Damiano’s infamous Deep Throat – yet after the sexploitation nudies of the 1960s there was the softcore simulated sex movies of the late ’60s and early ’70s. Small grindhouse theaters played this cheaply made smut for the indiscriminate raincoat crowd for peanuts and probably still made money. After Hours Cinema’s Storefront Feature Series highlights these four doozies complete with all of the bushy bushes and horribly post dubbed moaning and groaning you can stand. So sit back, relax and rest your hand on your crotch.

Splendor in the Sack
An already troubled middle-aged couple’s problems are worsened when the husband comes home and his wife is diddling the housekeeper. To make amends – to the dismay of the housekeeper – the wife includes the virgin maid in on the married couple’s sexy time only to be scolded and kicked to the curb afterward. This is a strangely violent and downbeat opener to the collection. Between the opening scene of the husband banging a sad looking hooker, forcibly taking the maid’s cherry and finally verbally abusing and leaving his wife, this one is quite dour for sure. The only thing that lightens the mood even a little is the wife’s huge bouffant hairdo… YIKES!!

A Taste of Honey
A couple of crooks take to a whorehouse after mugging a guy in the street and are treated to a “real, authentic virgin” after asking for the best they have. After having their way with her and taking offense to how much she charges ($500), they proceed to get their money’s worth with the rest of the girls in the house. The tone of this one is a little less of a downer than the first but not by much as one of the crooks is an old, ugly fucker with a mean streak for women. The orgy scene is a hysterical display of mostly grunting and groping and the last scene where the criminals get their just desserts – strange sores on their faces – is a great ending for the dynamic(ally retarded) duo.

Sweets for the Suite
After firing his secretary for boffing a client, the boss sets out to hire a new one. But he really only has one thing on his mind after the first girl tries to get hired on her, um, mer(t)its. Soon he is manhandling the bespectacled applicants and trying to get his rocks off. Before long his wife pays him an unexpected visit and busts him during the old “under the desk blowjob” bit. Playing out like every bossman’s fantasy, this one may be my favorite of the four. It was cheeky and playful as the victims of his advances were saying “no, no” as they allowed him to grope them lecherously.

One Hundred Dollar Wife
A couple of business partners, who have never met each other’s wives, go on a trip to Vegas for a little roll with some whores leaving their wives at home. Unknown to them, the wives not only know each other but they know each other. Through a short series of events the girls help out their pimp friend as his fill-in hoes. But *WHOOPS*, in full Three’s Company fashion, the two get sent to the other’s respective husband. Obviously this is the silliest, yet it is the most well thought out and acted. It won’t win any awards but it is definitely fun to watch.

This is my first exposure to the “Storefront Series” and I must say that I enjoyed it for the most part. The old grindhouse attitude was prevalent throughout as the picture quality is dodgy and the sound is awful, but that’s what gives this DVD an authentic feeling. In fact, there is a “Grind It!” feature that plays the films back to back complete with trailers and ads for the complete experience. The movies are relatively short with the average run-time of around 52 minutes so you won’t get bored, but you may want to keep your finger on the ffwd button for some of the more meandering sex scenes. I really dug the whole package and look forward to the next installment in the series. Is there one for huge natural juggs yet? *Crosses Fingers*