Batbabe: The Dark Nightie (2009 Review)
Director: John Bacchus
Cast: Darian Caine, Robert Mandara, Molly Heartbreaker, Jackie Stevens, Clancy Fitzsimmons
Seduction Cinema / NTSC R1 / Unrated / 1.78:1 Widescreen / English Language / 88 minutes / Release Date: February 24, 2009 / PURCHASE
For years now the porn industry has been spoofing box office smashes with films with names like Shaving Ryan’s Privates, Missionary: Impossible, Big Trouble in Little Vagina, Lawrence of a Labia and my favorite, Schindler’s Fist. Those whacky pornographers not only take a shot at Hollywood and their hypocritical stance on sex & nudity but they get – albeit ironic – name recognition for their films. Hardcore films are nice for a quick minute – if you know what I mean – but remember the fucking sa-weet softcore heaven that fine young men like myself use to find every Friday night on Cinemax, nay Skinamax? Well, thanks to Seduction Cinema you can have both! Combining the goofiness of the parody and the less explicit naked escapades, they bring you titles like Kinky Kong, Lord of the G-String and SSI: Sex Squad Investigation and their latest offering Batbabe: The Dark Nightie.
WARNING: REVIEW CONTAINS SCHOOLYARD DOUBLE ENTENDRES AND IMMATURE HUMOR
Wendy Wane is a stripper by day and the vigilante crime fighter/serial sex fiend “Batbabe” by night. She trolls Bacchum City looking for crooks, creeps and a hot piece of ass to subdue. D.A. Henrietta Bent and Commissioner Boredom are at their wit’s end when masturbating criminal mastermind The Jerker terrorizes the city by stealing all of its porn! This sends the city into a state of mass blue ball and really backed up plumbing. Commissioner Boredom sends out the Batbabe signal to summon the cum crusader in hopes of saving his city from rivers of splooge that threatens the city if its inhabitants’ genitalia explode from under use!
Thin on plot but thick in sophomoric ha-ha’s, fake titties and softcore bumping & grinding, Batbabe is just as fun as it sounds. The pace is brisk, the laughs are juvenile and the acting is awfully fantastic. Clancy Fitzsimmons is awesome as the near narcoleptic “Commissioner Boredom” as he delivers his hilarious lines with dead-on comedic timing. A very close second to Fitzy is Robert Mandara who played the demented Ronald McDonald looking “Jerker” with all of the fever of Heath Ledger less the penchant for violence. All of the girls – save the titular character ironically – are all very hot model types. But Molly Heartbreaker as the uh, spunky District Attorney is by far the hottest of them all. A cute girl next door face, a killer body and flaming areolas, what more can you ask for?
Seduction Cinema’s production values are top-notch. The sound and picture are phenomenal. That’s not to say that they didn’t spare every expense with the special effects. That is if you call toy penis-copters and edited in explosions “special”. But that adds to the fun of this one and makes you wonder if the makers were giggling like little girls while doing it. “Hehehehehehehehe… penis-copter!”. Suprisingly – at least to me – the DVD has commentary with producer and historian Ed Grant. It also contains a slew of the aforementioned parody trailers from Sediction Cinema and deleted scenes, including a pretty hot lesbian scene and a pretty funny alternate ending. After enjoying this DVD so much, I want to get my hands on the rest of their Hollywood take-offs and enjoy them Al Bundy style… with one hand down my pants.
