Captivity (2007)
Director: Roland Joffé
Cast: Elisha Cuthbert, Daniel Gillies, Pruitt Taylor Vince
Lions Gate / Unrated / NTSC R1 / Widescreen 2.35:1 / Dolby / Language: English / Subtitles: English, Spanish / 85 minutes / PURCHASE
Fashion model Jennifer (Cuthbert) is stalked and kidnapped by a crazed fan (maybe a fan, who knows). Locked in a dungeon-like room, she is tortured with high-tech dealios and pricey thingamajigs. She endures some pretty awful things. Befriends a dude in the adjacent room. And finally, the inevitable confrontation and escape.
Yeah, that’s it. No character development. Not real story or plot. It’s basically a bunch of Saw-like editing mixed with a little Saw-like camerawork and an overall Saw-like look. Only with this one, you don’t get the cool villain or the neat murder contraptions. You get, well, nothing. Yes, Elisha Cuthbert is fucking smoking hot. She’s a decent enough actress, but with nothing AT ALL to work with, she didn’t have a chance. It’s so sad, I really can’t find anything redeeming about this movie…
…wait, I thought of something…nope…
…was that…hmmmm…dammit, there must be something…
…I got it! There was 2 scenes that were pretty gross. And because this review would be nothing but me shitting on this movie if I didn’t, I’m going against my usual conscious effort to not tell any details about a movie, I’m going to go ahead and tell you what those 2 things were. In one scene the killer pours battery acid on a chicks face and it melts away and with the editing it looks as though it is in real-time. Pretty nasty stuff. But in the most, um, gut-churning scene, the psycho kidnapper blends up a body part smoothie and funnels it down Elisha’s gullet. Her gagging made me want to gag.
But alas, those cool scenes (as well as the other “torture”) had no context. It was literally going from one random act to another. Yes, they try to pull it all together in a flurry of silly lose-end tying in the last 15-20 minutes, but by then who the fuck cares? It was all so random, boring and retarded. And this is coming from someone who likes (for the most part) the Saw and Hostel franchises. And get this…this is the topping on the crap cake…this movie was written by Larry Cohen (God Told Me To and Q, The Winged Serpent). Larry, Larry, Larry…
After reading about how everyone hates this movie and it was horrible, I wanted to swoop in save it. I wanted there to be something that everyone else missed. Maybe they didn’t get the intricate, maniacal machinations of the sicko’s mind. Maybe Elisha’s acting was so good that they somehow thought it was awful. And maybe, just maybe, the plot and story was over their heads. But I couldn’t do it. This movie is dead to me.
If you’re still reading this and you have stuck with me through this whole horrible review, I leave you with this reward…
I still haven’t seen this.
I am still in shock that Roland Joffe
directed this.
Great review on your part, as always.
You couldn’t even tell if Joffe did a good job or not. Too much was taken away with the over-editing. It’s a shame.
Saw this the other day. It’s a pretty cool idea for a movie, but it’s way too predictable.The killer is not serial killer enough.Elisha does a great job though.