Director: Jordan Downey
Broad Daylight Pictures / NTSC Region 0 / Unrated / 1.78:1 Widescreen / 2.0 Dolby Stereo / English Language / 70 minutes / OFFICIAL WEBSITE
Mother’s Day, Halloween, Black Christmas, My Bloody Valentine, April Fools Day… I could go on and on with movies based around holidays. I didn’t think there were any more major holidays left to rape for their wholesomeness. But I’ll be damned if I didn’t forget the most wholesome holiday of them all: Thanksgiving. It’s a time when family comes together to share their love for one another, reminisce of times past and remember what they are truly thankful for. We stuff ourselves with turkey and fall into a tryptophan coma in front of the football game and all is right with the world. But these sick fucks, Kevin Stewart and Jordan Downey, co-creators of Thankskilling, just can’t leave us to our bliss. They have to go and make a mockery of that too… bastards!
Five college stereotypes (jock, slut, fat slob, nerd and good girl) head home for the holidays when their vehicle breaks down and they decide to camp out until morning. Little do they know that they are on the grounds where hundreds of years ago, a turkey was “necromanced” by a Native American shaman to kill white folks ever so often. So this just happens to be that time and this bird is ready to cook their goose (ugh, I know… I’m sorry. That joke was fowl.). The demonic holiday dinner then runs rampant and kills all of their families and picks them off one by one until they find a book with the instructions to killing the undead bird. Chant an incantation backwards in unison to break the necromance spell, then burn the turkey at the stake like a witch. Now if they can just catch the loud-mouthed fucker… yes, he talks… a lot.
When most people think of low-budget horror comedies, they think of Troma. I mean, you have to, it’s like a cosmic rule or something. Well, while watching Thankskilling, I couldn’t help but think that this ranks right up there with the best that Troma has to offer; Toxie, Tromeo & Juliet, Sgt. Kabukiman. In many ways, it’s better than those outdated classics. The gore was fantastic and the jokes – while a little hit and miss – were fucking hilarious when they landed. A little while ago I reviewed Black Devil Doll and marveled at a low-budget horror/exploitation flick that delivered the goods plus some. While not as crass as BDD, Thankskilling definitely used every bit of their money to make the best possessed-turkey-horror-comedy they could. Instead of a steady stream of obscenities and naked bitches, they trotted out the gruesome gore-gags and a goofy potty-mouthed gobbler.
I think my favorite line in the while movie was after the jock’s parents were just massacred, “Oh God… Oh God… no more pumpkin pie! No more cranberry sauce!”. And my favorite scene was the fucking turkey going all Leatherface on a bitch and cuts the sheriff’s face off and wears it as a disguise… and the kids didn’t recognize him. HA! Besides, any movie where the opening shot is an extreme close-up of a HUGE tit automatically gets extra points with me (“Great tits, bitch!”). And where did the film makers dig up Ted Nugent’s doppelganger? Just watch the movie and you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. Rest assured, I am already adding this to my beloved holiday traditions and this time next year I will be getting ready to see the family and thawing my Butterball(s) with Thankskilling on in the background… ahhhh, the holidays.
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